When you go to your next OCR, take a minute to look around the venue and you will see exactly what the article title is referring to. Most OCR athletes fall into one of the categories below. Now, just to be clear, having all these different groups of people is what helps make OCR so awesome, so don't think we are hating on anyone here...we're just having some fun! 😂
1. The NOOB
The Noob is someone who has no clue what they are getting into. They'll show up looking like a deer in headlights with worn-out tennis shoes (don't want to ruin the good shoes in the mud) and an old t-shirt. Noobs start stressing about the race as soon as they sign up but only start running 3 weeks before the race and feel like they're going to kill it. The best thing when you are a Noob though is crossing the finish line for the first time with a group of people cheering you on and having a shiny metal placed around your neck. Such a feeling of accomplishment. (I know all this because I am an EX-NOOB)
2. The Bodybuilder (aka sucks at running and a lot of obstacles but doesn't know it yet because they're in the gym for 4 hrs every day and can lift all the weights...plus your house.)
Every race has it's bodybuilders. They obviously don't wear shirts and don't see the point of having finisher t-shirts (they'd rip through them anyway.) Those hunks of pure muscle strut up to the starting line flexing and posing for the camera feeling like they're about to CRUSH IT. Once they realize the majority of the race is running, their muscles give up (no protein shakes at the water stations?). "I'm cramping up bro.....LIGHT WEIGHT" The redeeming side for the Bodybuilder in an OCR is that they won't have trouble with obstacles like Hercules Hoist and Tire Flip!
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3. The Runner (aka Speedy Gonzalez)
Runners know what's up. They come in ready to go with their short shorts and their chins held high. They're the first at the start line (since, ya know, they've done plenty of road races). They shoot off feeling confident.....but what's that in the distance? A ball of solid cement? "No big deal, can't be much heavier than my hydration pack." One attempt at the Atlas Carry and runners are left in pieces, not unlike the Black Knight from Monty Python and The Holy Grail. On the up side, runners do have the best transition into OCR since it's generally easier to build the strength you need for obstacles than the endurance for the running.
4. The GOATASS (Greatest of all time.....actually super slow)
Bahhh, yeah everyone knows this racer. They walk up with a smug and slightly cocky look of confidence. They don't need to warm up because their muscles are always ready to kill it. Yeah, they'll tell you about their most recent workouts and PRs....since you were definitely asking....GOATASSes shoot off of the start line like a baby mouse strapped to Apollo 11. Unlike Apollo 11, gravity pulls them back down to earth very quickly. They spend the last 7/8s of the race talking about how they are sore from going Craayyyy on their workouts that morning. Hey, props to them! If the race was a 1/4 mile they might have gotten in the top 10!
5. The Jester
Jesters are jesters. They add humor to the pain. You can find Jesters running around in thongs, clown masks, wedding suits/dresses, animal heads, and even dinosaur costumes. Yes, Jesters do their civic duty and add a light tone to the suffering! We thank you for jingling your belled hats and bringing us through the pain with laughter.
What other OCR personalities have YOU noticed? We left a few off this list so we can here YOUR perspective.
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